I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
