I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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