Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
