NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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