so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
