You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
