lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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