haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
