The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
