apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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