Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
did you just send me my own nude
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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