stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
