He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
