Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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