How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
