pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
