Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize