I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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