R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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