It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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