You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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