Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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