dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize