He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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