she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
