I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
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She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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