it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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