all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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