the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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