I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
