me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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