Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
