Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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