omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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