you mean i was at the winter classic?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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