I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
