first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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