its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
