I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
