the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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