that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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