Christians are straight up FREAKS
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need a beard to bite.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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