how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
