Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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