hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize