Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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