he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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