he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
