We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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