it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
