tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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