i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
