your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
