she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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