This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
