these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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