ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
