4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize