It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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