C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i think i have herpe
just one?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
