Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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