just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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